Better

It's amazing to comment on how far I've come so far this year. Time-wise. I mean, I'm already (almost) halfway through the 2nd quarter, and it's already almost December.

However, I still feel like my head's back in September. Am I doing any good to my students?

I got into this job hoping that I would have a constant impact on my students and to teach them something I knew that they didn't. But, apparently this is easier said than done. I am constantly longing for the discourse that I had as a student in college, being challenged constantly by my professor and thinking sophisticatedly and outside the box, expanding my brain. But, to achieve this in high school is near-impossible.

The first week of school I quoted to my students something from Plato, something Protagoras said to his students: “If you associate with me, the result will be that on the very day you begin you will return home a better person, and the same will happen the next day too. Each day you will make constant progress towards being better.” I truly believe that some one person can have this impact on somebody else. And I'd like to think I'm capable of that with my students. But, I don't know if they're capable of accepting that.

How do I get them to that point? How do I get them to be better?

Wander This World

Starbucks. Stuyvesant Plaza. Sigur Ros. My room is dark, but there is a glow from within. There are only sounds within my dark room; the outside world is mute. My days go by in slow-motion playback. Take the bus back to State. Walk by myself through Dutch and Colonial. Listen to Jonny Lang on my CD player. I'm wandering this world, all alone.

How come whenever I start something new, and I feel like I don't know what I'm doing, I always get reminded of Albany? If I had never gone to school there, would these "first-experiences" be even harder?

Sitting in Starbucks--Selden this time--I wonder how I got here. And I believe it is from those first year experiences; it is through the wandering I did and have done, the wandering that is just inherent in human nature, of which I am just trying to do my part.....But, I think I just need to keep wandering this world right now. Alone, or not.