Starting Fresh

When we sleep, we like to think our mind is subdued, on auto-pilot so we can rest assuredly. I think otherwise. I think my mind is crazily moving at the speed of light up to and while I sleep. I have been lying in bed lately, unable to fall asleep, with thoughts and anxieties buzzing around in my mind. It is not until there is a clear separation of mind and body that I can actually achieve sleep, as if it were an Olympic gold medal that I am trying desperately to win.

Why is the separation of mind and body so hard to achieve? There must be a spiritual way to do this. Meditation? Tai chi? I have to look into something. I think part of the problem is I am growing. My mind and my body are growing beyond the limits that my small bed inside my small room have contained me. Every year, at certain points, I get the urge to move, to disperse myself and check out other places. I think that time has come for me now. I temporarily released my diaspora among this country on my trip this summer, but the feeling of growth beyond boundaries has returned. There are aspects of my life that have to start anew.

I think we all need a fresh start every once in awhile. Without starting new, without building ourselves up from nothing, what do we do? Sit and collect dust. And for those who started from dust, collecting dust is a step back in the progression we are going in. So I think I'm going to keep moving forward and start painting myself up on a fresh canvass...until I take a break and fall asleep.