sitting on the floor, meditating

sitting on the floor legs crossed breathing in and out the airs of the fumigated scented candle in and out of my lungs I feel awake I feel illuminated I breathe. I say in and out I am the master of myself I am the master of myself I am in control in and out I breathe. my hand up and out I stretch down towards the candle relax my diaphragm I breathe. in and out. a realization I need to go on a spirit journey in and out. I breathe. the scent billows up into my nostrils I take a long breath pause let it linger feel the asphyxiation then release in and out. I am the master of the situation on a pillow on the floor the light of the candle illuminating the shaded figures of my room. are you out there? I am calling to my soul. I feel in and out with every breath that I need to make my soul happy, so I call out, are you there? I need to make you happy and the response is the flickering of the candlelight and it wavers and I squint to see it straight but it flutters and it is just ebb and flow and I don’t know if it’s there. my soul. and is it happy? it flickers. in and out I breathe. in and hold it, and out, and so is my light.